Find Love in Berlin

Find Love in Berlin

The online dating world in Berlin:

Finding love in whatever form you prefer has never really been easy, but in these times it became even way more complicated. 
Most of the possibilities of how we meet our potential partners are currently not possible. 
Clubs are closed (or maximum reopened as beer gardens), and bars are also not the same as they used to be before the pandemic.
Since there are currently not the best circumstances to get to know new people in real life, online dating apps could be the way to go.

Generally, there was a massive surge in the usage of dating apps worldwide since the start of the pandemic, and Berlin makes no exception.
Even before the Corona outbreak, were dating apps already widely used. 

According to surveys (in Oktober 2019), 30% of US citizens have used dating apps at least once in their life (unfortunately, there are no numbers for Berlin available).
For 39% percent of US dating app users, it even resulted in a committed relationship. So they can really work out when used properly.

If you are currently looking for a partner, now is the time to give it a try!

I’ve personally always been a friend of meeting my potential partners in the real world.
However, as I currently really have nearly no opportunities to meet my potential love in my everyday life, I had basically no other choice than diving into the world of dating apps!
As beautiful as the idea of meeting numerous potential partners while chilling in sweatpants at home sounds, using those apps can also be quite frustrating in reality.

Things like getting no (suitable) matches, getting ghosted, receiving sexually offending messages, etc. can make the app feel like a painful waste of time.
Nevertheless, these apps are used a lot around the globe and in a lot of cases also with success. 

I’ve been talking with multiple dating app experts and “pro-users”  to collect their tips on how to use the apps in order to help you get the best dating app experience in Berlin possible.


What apps to use in Berlin? 


Tinder: 

Probably everyone knows Tinder already. In terms of an active user base, it’s perhaps the most used one in Berlin. 


Bumble:

Bumble is pretty similar to Tinder with the main difference that if two people match only the woman can make the first step. 
So the woman decides with whom of their matches she really wants to talk to.
That’s a big plus for all straight men. Since you don’t have to be super creative to find a good opener for the conversation to compete against all the other messages your match probably gets.  
For the straight women amongst you don’t worry that you have to do all the work here. If a man is really interested in you it’s totally enough to ask him a simple question as an opener like “How crazy was your week so far?”
Of course you’ll get from time to time no answer but actually be happy about that. You saved time communicating with somebody who is probably anyways not really interested.


OKCupid

It’s also based on the same principle like Tinder. 
However, the cool thing about OKCupid are the profiles. They have a great variety of questions you can answer. Each profile shows the percentage number of how many questions you’ve been answering the same way. 
Here are the chances way higher that you match with someone who has several things in common with you, despite that you both like your physical appearance.
This fact improves the possibility of meeting someone fitting to your personality a lot.


LGBT Dating:

Tinder, Bumble & OKCupid are also working out for you but there are also apps with huge communities in Berlin with a full focus on LGBT-Community.


Her 

It’s also similar to Tinder and works with the swipe, match & chat principle. 
The community is entirely focused on lesbian, bisexual & queer women. The app is also quite popular in Berlin.


Grindr 

Is the world’s largest social networkng app for gay, bi, trans and queer people and of course they have a really huge community in Berlin as well.


How to get more matches?

Set up a nice profile:

1. High-quality profile pictures:
Having high-quality photos definitely increases the amount of matches you get.
We can change our physical appearance only to a small degree, however,
we can at least take good photos and use those on our profile. 
This will definitely improve your online dating app experience a lot! 
I personally never took photos of myself, and as a result, I’ve only had low-quality pictures of myself and got nearly no matches at first.
Changing this made a massive difference for me.


2. Write a small bio:

Don’t be lazy and keep your profile completely empty. 
I know it’s not easy to write those texts, but it generally improves the number of matches you’ll get. Additionally it also helps you to meet the type of people you are looking for. 
Try to give some insights about your personality and interests!


Behavior within the app:

The way you use the apps impacts how many other people your profile is shown to, and therefore, how many matches will get.
The dating apps keep it a secret how their matching algorithms exactly work like Coca Cola keeps their recipe.
However, here are some things that work out across all the dating platforms: 


3. Write all of your matches, or at least as much as possible

The dating apps are interested in delivering their users the best experience possible and match them therefore with active users who are likely to reply, according to their algorithm.
So if you are communicating with all your matches, the dating apps will reward this by showing your profile to more people. 

4. Only swipe-right people you really want to get to know.

Don’t do it with every profile you get shown.
I know this can potentially save you time, but the algorithm doesn’t like this behavior.
The dating apps want to learn from you which profiles are appealing to you.
If you only swipe-right, the algorithm has fewer data to work with and as a result your profile will be shown less.

5. The more you use the app, the more your profile will be shown to other users.

When more people see your profile, you are more likely to end up with a match.
Sad news for everyone lazy, but it is necessary to get the most out of those apps.

6. You can delete your account in the dating app of your choice from time to time. 

Deleting your account (and creating a new one) increases the number of matches you will get in the beginning.
Most apps boost new profiles the first few days.
In case you already did lots of things the algorithm considers as "bad", this method works exceptionally well.
Starting of with a fresh account also means the algorithm is reset and will collect all information again.


Your mindset:

7. Be completely yourself!

There is absolutely no reason to act like you are someone else. 
The beauty of Berlin is that it offers all kinds of people, and those apps offer you the possibility to find those fitting to you.
Dating apps enable you to find someone who really accepts and loves you the way you are, no matter what type of person you are. 
Trying to be someone else is a huge waste of time anyway, as you will connect with people that don’t fit your real personality and in the end it will not work out.
You might lose some opportunities by really being yourself but it will definitely improve the quality of your matches and your overall experience with those apps! 


8. Don’t take things personally.

Don’t be frustrated by people who are suddenly ignoring you, reject you or do other, less gentle things. 
Unfortunately, unfriendly behavior  is quite common in online dating. 
So don’t take it personally. 
People have no real connection to you - they just chat with you through an app. 
Many will often start ignoring you once they think they found a better “option” (be it another date or something else to do).
Since there are no negative consequences to their actions, many people don’t really care about them. 
Stay chilled if something like this happens! (at least it saved you time)
And finally, keep in mind that online dating is a numbers game.
If somebody annoys you - let him be.
You are going to find your luck somewhere else! :)


General Tips: 


9. Try to meet up in real life as early as possible. 

Investing a lot of time into chatting with someone, just to find out on the first date that it absolutely does not fit is very disappointing.
Meet your matches as soon as possible in real life! You won't be able to get to know someone if you only communicate through a screen anyway!


10. Don’t force things - give them the time they need.

Yes it might take some days or even weeks until you’ll find the right people for you, but you shouldn't see this time as if you failed.
You have to make progress and try to be able to finally find the right person! 

11. If somebody seems to be not interested in you - forget about him! 

Even if you think your match could be your “dream partner”, if he acts like he’s not interested, it’s a red flag!
Chances are very high that you will just waste your time.
You have to be aware that the other person is in the position to connect with people he is really interested in.
Unfortunately, it seems like you might not be the right person for him.  
This might be painful, but you finally want to meet someone who is also truly into you and your personality! 


The offline world

What I like the most about meeting the potential partner offline is that the basic circumstances are way more relaxed. 
When using dating apps, you meet somebody with the purpose to date him and many factors that would come in real life into play don't matter online.
It is quite awkward to think about the fact that you don’t know the other person at all.
If you compare it to meeting somebody in real life, where you first like someone and then arrange a date, this is especially true.
Meeting people offline became obviously more difficult since the Corona pandemic started, but it is still working! 
If you want to have some tips about how to find your love in Berlin offline, you should also check out our article “How to make friends and  meet new people in Berlin 2020 (your Berlin love of Berlin included) 

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